Relationship Therapy in Washington, DC
Understanding the patterns that keep you stuck — and changing them
Tired of unhealthy patterns in your relationships?
Most relationship problems aren't really about the argument you keep having, or the distance that's opened up, or the fact that things that used to feel easy now feel hard. Those are symptoms. Underneath them is usually something older: a set of learned patterns about closeness, safety, and what to expect from the people we depend on.
These patterns — shaped by early attachment experiences — follow us into every significant relationship we have. They're not flaws or failures. They made sense once. But when they're running the show unconsciously, they can make genuine connection feel just out of reach, no matter how much you want it.
If you are finding you are stuck in certain relational patterns that you would like to change, you have come to the right place
Do any of these patterns sound like you?
Insecure-Anxious Attachment Style
You often seek a high level of intimacy, approval, and responsiveness with your partner, even becoming overly dependent on them.
Maybe you find you want to be emotionally intimate with others, but find others are reluctant to get as close as you would like.
Or that you want to be close with others, but often pull away and detach out of fear or vulnerability or being hurt, finding it difficult to express your needs?
Avoidant Attachment Style
You are very independent. You like to do things on your own, and not have to rely on others.
You tend to have low levels of emotional interactions, and maybe other's have described you as being a bit distant or detached at times. You can feel frustrated or misunderstood when your partner pressures you to be closer or emotionally expressive with them.
Closeness can trigger an instinct to pull back — not because you don't care, but because depending on others has never felt entirely safe.
Fearful Attachment Style
You want connection, but it also feels genuinely dangerous. Trust is hard. Vulnerability feels risky.
Relationships often follow a painful pattern: intense at the start, then gradually undermined by fear — of being hurt, abandoned, or exposed.
You may find yourself leaving before things can go wrong, or creating conflict that keeps others at arm's length.
HOW I WORK
Attachment patterns are deeply ingrained — but they're not fixed. They were learned, and with the right kind of work, they can change.
Drawing on ISTDP and attachment-focused approaches, I work with clients to understand not just what their patterns are, but why they developed — the early relational experiences that made them necessary — and what it takes to do something different. This isn't purely intellectual work. Real change in attachment requires experiencing something new in a relationship, including in the therapeutic relationship itself.
In practice, this means:
Identifying the emotional defenses and self-protective patterns that get in the way of closeness
Working through the grief, fear, or anger that often underlies relational avoidance or anxiety
Building the capacity for vulnerability, trust, and genuine emotional expression
Recognizing healthier relational patterns when they're available — and sustaining them
What Therapy Can Offer
People who do this work often find that the relationships in their lives begin to feel different — not because their circumstances changed, but because they did. The pull toward familiar but painful dynamics loosens. Conflict becomes easier to navigate without either escalating or shutting down. The fear of closeness softens, and real intimacy — the kind that feels safe rather than threatening — starts to feel possible.
Perhaps most importantly, the relationship with the self shifts. When attachment wounds begin to heal, so does the chronic self-doubt and insecurity that so often drives relational difficulty in the first place.
Frequently Asked Questions
-
Yes. Relationship therapy often focuses on recurring patterns that appear across different types of relationships, including dating, family, and work connections.
-
I work with issues such as repeated conflict, emotional distance, fear of intimacy, attachment difficulties, and communication breakdowns. I also help clients affected by infidelity.
-
No. I work with individuals who want to better understand and intentionally change long-standing relational patterns.
-
Therapy focuses on identifying emotional and attachment dynamics that influence how you relate to others, particularly under stress.
-
Yes. I provide relationship-focused teletherapy for adults in Washington, DC., Virginia, and North Carolina.